Prayer

CS Lewis said "I pray because I can’t help myself. I pray because I’m helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn’t change God- it changes me." I had just prayed fervently about something. And it dawned on me: usually I hear about a need or come across one in my own life, and I pray passionately and wholeheartedly, and then that's it. I only pray once. And as that realization came over me I tried to rationalize it away: "That's because I have faith that God will do it! I don't need to dwell on it..." But I knew that was an excuse. It then became apparent: I've bought into something. I have bought so totally into my instant-coffe-culture, my microwave-popcorn, fast-food, pre-fab housing world, that I treat prayer in that same way. So I asked God, "Why then, Lord? If you God, the All-Powerful Creator and Sustainer of the Universe can do ANYTHING, and instantly, then why don't You?" He waits. And why does He wait?? And the answer came back to me so gentle and clear: "It's for you." "Me??" Yes. Because, as CS Lewis so aptly puts it: "It [prayer] doesn't change God- it changes me". And suddenly I realized, that the discipline of prayer is one of the most powerful tools to mold and shape me and make me rely on God. And make me more like Him. It breaks down my pre-suppositions and my post-suppositions. It dismantles all my barriers until I am flat on my face before the mighty Yahweh Hashem, with no other option than to rely 100% on HIM. Because only He can do it. It's the conclusion that I came to when I first prayed and brought my supplications and petitions before Him. But somewhere along the way I got in the way; my own pride and childish demanding kicked in "do this for me now!" I cried. And Abba Father, in His great patience, just smiled and waited, drawing me closer to Him each moment. He's so sneaky! Little did I know! I just thought I was going to get what I wanted. But instead I got what I didn't even know I wanted. And that was intimacy, time and closeness with my Daddy. A deeper relationship with Him. Thank you, Jesus!

God's Plan

So I Read Jeremiah 29:11 this morning. Except I don't ever remember reading that pretty little verse in context before. Judah (what's left of Israel) is rebelling hardcore against God, and Jeremiah is telling them they're going to get knocked in the slammer for it (Babylon), they try to get Jeremiah killed because they don't like what he's preaching, and THEN, Jeremiah spouts this verse. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope."(!) BUT. here's the key that no one dwells on. Jeremiah is talking about AFTER punishment! AFTER they get exiled to Babylon, God still knows the plan He has for them. Basically giving them hope in the midst of the punishment. Yes, you'll have to be punished first, but ultimately God doesn't want to harm or punish you in the long run. He wants peace and prosperity. This punishment part, I think we should be focusing on this too when quoting this! I think people use this verse to say "God wants all good things for me", and He does! But we forget about consequences for our sin and walking away from God. And just general sin and living in a fallen world. Suffering is real, people. This place is f-ed up, and we will have to endure a lot--BUT GOD. I think this verse should start with a THEREFORE " i know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord"-- Basically, GOd has not forgotten-- in the midst of suffering-- God knows the plan. This is not a verse about fairies and kittens and marshmallows. This is not the verse saying there will be no suffering. This is the verse to get THROUGH the trials. And saying there is a plan in SPITE of the trials. Wow. I never knew. ANd I scoffed this verse off so many times. Right after this verse, Jeremiah goes back to blowing off steam and warnings about punishment coming. Irony! Or not. 29:11 is a gem amidst the truth, showing God's true character. He loves us, He longs for reconciliation and to redeem us. But if we don't turn and come back to Him, a lot more crap is gonna go down (see v. 15 and following).

Day 4, May 21st

Day 4 went a lot better, I got some sleep, and I cleaned house all day and I cut out nuts, my face seems a LOT happier.

break: two eggs, mushrooms, butter, tomatoes, onions, chicken/apple sausage, okra, mint/chamomile tea

snack: nectarine

lunch: cabbage, chicken apple sausage, butternut squash w butter

snack: broccoli, beets,

dinner: halibut, salmon, broccoli, beets,

snack: strawberries, chai tea, apple

Day 3, 5/20

Day 3 was pretty rough, a lotta cravings & I broke out really bad again, I'm wondering if it's the nuts bc I was not eating nuts b4.

Break: chkn sausage, broccoli, watermelon, chai tea w almond. Milk. Sauteed mushrooms in butter

Snack: cashews, coffee w almond milk, almonds, apple,

Lunch: salad, trout, celery w almond butter, almonds, cashews, iced coffee w almond milk, sauteed mushrooms in butter

Snack: watermelon, almonds, cashews

Dinner: cabbage w oil, lemon, kale, turkey, cashews almonds

Snack: cashews almonds

Day 2, May 19

Break: bok choy, chicken/apple sausage, watermelon

Snack: cashews, coffee w almond milk (2 cups), orange, apple, tea

Lunch: salad, salmon, asparagus, couple bites of trout
(Take omega 3s&6 vitamin)
Diet coke

Broke out badly win an hour or 2 (I needed energy but won't do that again)

Snack: mixed nuts, orange, chicken apple sausage,

Dinner: kale, blanched green cabbage w lemon/oil, couple bites of trout, nuts

Day 1, 5.18.11

1st day of new diet!

Break: water melon, bok choy, pork chop, cammomile/mint tea w lemon

Snack: grapes, watermelon

Lunch: salad, turkey, pork, radishes, apple, pumpkin seeds


Snack 3p: salad, turkey, pork, watermelon,
4p: green tea, peppermint tea
Snack: 5p coffee w almond milk, grapes

9p dinner: salad, pork, turkey, radishes, bok choy, carrots

The Acne-Free Diet

SO. I’ve up and had it with all the acne up in my face all the time. Enough is ENOUGH! My fabulous nutritionist Dr. Ron has been trying to get me to try this diet for the last three years ever since I had the mega-mold-exposure-explosive-cystic-acne-attack in London (but that’s another story). SO. Today’s the day! I’m throwing the gauntlet and let the chips faaaaall where they may!
This diet is not for the faint of heart (there’s a reason I’ve been avoiding it for 3 years!)

No grains, no corn, no potatoes, no sugar, no dairy, no vinegar.

Basically veggies, meat, fruit and nuts.

EEEEEeee. I have to keep this up for 30 days and then from there slowly reintroduce things to see what I react to and what I don’t, etc. So I decided, if I have to keep this up for 30 days, I mines well make a double whammy of it and blog for 30 days to keep myself accountable and work on my writing and maybe with any luck help others struggling with the same thing as well (if this darn thing works!)

So. Here goes. Day one. May 19th, 2011.