Prayer

CS Lewis said "I pray because I can’t help myself. I pray because I’m helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn’t change God- it changes me." I had just prayed fervently about something. And it dawned on me: usually I hear about a need or come across one in my own life, and I pray passionately and wholeheartedly, and then that's it. I only pray once. And as that realization came over me I tried to rationalize it away: "That's because I have faith that God will do it! I don't need to dwell on it..." But I knew that was an excuse. It then became apparent: I've bought into something. I have bought so totally into my instant-coffe-culture, my microwave-popcorn, fast-food, pre-fab housing world, that I treat prayer in that same way. So I asked God, "Why then, Lord? If you God, the All-Powerful Creator and Sustainer of the Universe can do ANYTHING, and instantly, then why don't You?" He waits. And why does He wait?? And the answer came back to me so gentle and clear: "It's for you." "Me??" Yes. Because, as CS Lewis so aptly puts it: "It [prayer] doesn't change God- it changes me". And suddenly I realized, that the discipline of prayer is one of the most powerful tools to mold and shape me and make me rely on God. And make me more like Him. It breaks down my pre-suppositions and my post-suppositions. It dismantles all my barriers until I am flat on my face before the mighty Yahweh Hashem, with no other option than to rely 100% on HIM. Because only He can do it. It's the conclusion that I came to when I first prayed and brought my supplications and petitions before Him. But somewhere along the way I got in the way; my own pride and childish demanding kicked in "do this for me now!" I cried. And Abba Father, in His great patience, just smiled and waited, drawing me closer to Him each moment. He's so sneaky! Little did I know! I just thought I was going to get what I wanted. But instead I got what I didn't even know I wanted. And that was intimacy, time and closeness with my Daddy. A deeper relationship with Him. Thank you, Jesus!